To anyone who’s sat there, and finally said “Fuck it” got up, and did something really unconventional. To every person who’s walked into work and said “I quit”. To every person who’s finally decided to commit their lives to something bigger than themselves. This, is what it feels like.
I had a bunch of equipment failures, and had to go back to work. I got a job that paid me more money than I’d never made in my entire life, and I finally had the financial security I’d always heard about. I wasn’t happy. When I think about the day I wrote the email to my job and said “I’m finished this day” and hit send, it felt just like this. Jumping off the edge of something really fucking tall and hoping those little wings I’d been working on are strong enough to catch me. Tummy churning, fling-yourself-into-space-and-hope-for-the-best, shaky fingers, short breath, watery eyes, and finally deciding it’s better to do anything but stay there for one more second. The choice kept me up at night for weeks, even though I’d been full-time making artwork once before. Walking away from a really good pay cheque that came every 2 weeks and never bounced was one of the most gut-wrenching things I’ve had to do, and it’s like that for *most* of us. Some of you have nerves of steel and nothing scares you, congrats, that’s not me.
Learn to love the butterflies that are flapping madly within your gut every time you feel like this, because change can be a really good thing.
I’d been wanting to do this shot for a very long time but I wanted to wait until my PS skills were good enough to do the idea justice.
Many thanks to Kelly Lynn Martell for being my stunning model, Brent McCombs for all his assisting, and Benjamin Wong for supplying the skyscraper shot I hope you like it
We shot in Shadowhouse Studios in Halifax, a day before my workshop there. I lit this with an octabox on a boom above my head, and bounced fill light off the walls from both sides to fill in the shadows.